Sunday, October 30, 2016

It's a matter of trust...

Writing. It's something I just can't force. I have to feel inspired to write. I think anyone can be a writer, but it takes inspiration to form words into coherent sentences. There have been many days where I sit down to write in my blog, and I erase the content multiple times because it just doesn't flow. When it flows, it's therapeutic. The process of being able to unwind thoughts from the dark crevices of your brain and release it through writing helps relieve stress. 

Sometimes it's the daily stress that I can write about, and through writing, I can solve my issues. Other times it is knowing that I was able to document something to remember years down the road. From time to time, people find my blog post and they can relate to what I've experienced. Writing and reading are crucial in my life. 

One of the topics I've wanted to write a little bit about is my relationship with my father. Let me add, that I have an excellent relationship with my mother, as well. It just happens my dad has been visiting and helping us out for the last month, so I have a lot to reflect upon. 

I've been daddy's little girl as long as I can remember, and I'm spoiled. Spoiled rotten. I'm spoiled with love. 

My dad and I are very similar, not just in physical traits but also in personality. Growing up I often heard, 'You sure do take after your father.' This similarity was a double-edged sword. On one hand, I could easily understand my dad. On the other hand, it made us argue stubbornly growing up. I'm not one to step down, so some of these arguments were pretty heated. I'm sure my mom was smirking deep down when my dad and I were in a heated argument, thinking to herself, 'You raised her like this, so of course, she's not going to back down.' I remember my brother telling me, 'Briana, just let it go.', But I couldn't. If I knew I was right, I was going to prove it. 

I've been spending a lot of time with my dad, listening to stories about when I was a kid, or when he was a kid, and connecting to him on a more personal level. I understand why he did the things he did that I was not able to comprehend as a child. 

One of the most valuable lessons my dad taught me was 'trust.' This story will sound crazy, so bear with me. When I was 15, I was in karate. My dad thought it was an excellent idea to put my brother and me in karate so we could defend ourselves in any unsafe situation. 

Every summer there would be a karate camp, and my brother and I would go. During one of these camps, I met a guy named Ben. Ben and I hit it off right away, and we started dating. 

We were only about a 30-minute drive away, but it was far enough where it wasn't easy to see each other often. 

I'm honestly not sure how it all came up because I don't remember, but my parents let me stay the night at Ben's house multiple times. Yes, we slept in different rooms. My dad talked me to about trust. His words were, 'I trust you. I trust you to do the right thing. The first time you betray my trust, and the entire world will change for you. Make the right decision.'

I'm a first born child, and many first born children follow the rules and are afraid to get in trouble, and I was one of them. I was a good kid. I studied hard, I worked hard and was not someone who was dishonest. 

My dad taught me the value of trust. He trusted me and that meant a lot to me. He trusted me to think about situations and weigh the consequences. Though it must have been hard for them, it was what I needed. I needed to know I could make decisions on my own and own the results to the outcome. I needed to know my parents had trust in me and believed in me. 

I never broke my dad's trust. I took it seriously because it was important. Trust is one of those qualities that make or break your character. Once you betray it, or once you tarnish your character, it's difficult, if not impossible, to rebuild. 

Twenty years later my dad and I still have a close relationship. I enjoy all the time I have with him, his stories, and his positive outlook. I value this bond we have and am thankful for all the time I've been given to spend with him making memories. 

No comments: