- I'm sad because the year flew by.
- I'm sad because it's sometimes hard to remember back just a few months ago, let alone when he was born.
- I'm sad because he's a little boy now. He's not technically a 'baby' any longer.
- I'm sad because this is the LAST first birthday I'll get to enjoy of my children.
- This is the last first 'birthday' cake smashing I'll get to enjoy. Next year it will be with a fork!
- I'm sad because he just wants to run around now and do his own thing. I remember when he used to just nurse in my arms, or when I would hold him and he'd just sit there and look up at me, all content to just hang out.
- I'm happy at how much he's accomplished. He's gone from barely holding up his head, just learning to eat, sitting up, crawling to now almost walking. What amazing milestones!
- I'm happy that he's my 'baby' and that he's so very happy and lovable.
- I'm happy he made it through the RSV and SIDS dangers that worries most moms.
- I'm happy he learned to sleep through the night.
- I'm happy he's eating 'real' food on his own.
- I'm happy I'm his momma.
Tomorrow is going to be bittersweet for me. It's going to be full of mixed emotions. No one understands how someone can be so happy, yet so sad on such a happy day. I feel so alone in that I have these scattered emotions. There are moments I just want to freeze time and hold my babies. I want to whisper in their ears not to grow up, to stay little. I want to enjoy this time when they are so young. Times they love hugs and kisses and aren't afraid of what their friend's think.
Yes, tomorrow will be filled with fun and filled with memories to last his lifetime (I mean, who doesn't have photos of their first birthday), but maybe one day, he'll look back and understand what it's like to be happy and sad on such a momentous occasion. If only I could freeze time........
Photo taken 8/25. The boys love to play and they love to rough house and hang out on our bed. Here they are, being friends.