Yeah, my friend Caroline has been bugging me to update. I know I know...I'm behind. You know why - because I'd rather sleep! My days are so full of running around that I don't get to do those things I want to do. If I do them, I sacrifice sleep. Last night I had the opportunity to update my blog, but instead I went to bed at 10:30 - which is early for me.

The past week has been a rollercoaster of emotions for me. Joe came home slightly after the cruise and said he may be interested in having another child, sooner rather than later. I was already in the mindset that we were either only having one child, or we were waiting a long time between children.

So I was pretty upset for awhile. My birth memories came flooding back. I was a basket case and very upset. I sent a note to my babies group and there were a few moms who went through a very similar experience and shared it with me and talked about how they healed. After a lot of tears, I finally think I 'got over it'. For those that don't know (it may be a bit graphic) - I was induced because of Joey's kidney problem. I was in labor for 2 days. I pushed for 5 hours straight. Normally most doctors let you try for 2 hours and c-section you. I was forgotten about. I stretched out my bladder and left me without bladder function for weeks and in diapers. My uterus would not immediately contract like it’s supposed to when the nurse starts to press on it. Instead when the nurse pressed on my uterus, blood shot across the room. People went running, so I started to bleed and had to have a HUGE shot put in my leg to help my uterus start contracting back down. I lost a lot of blood. I lost feeling on the top of one of my legs for almost a year from nerve damage from the pushing. After Joey was finally born, I pushed so long and so hard I was cross-eyed and couldn’t even SEE him. I was left with too much to deal with right after giving birth and no answers on the problems I was having. Not to mention the doctors were in our room constantly looking at Joey and his kidney problem. The poor kid had a welt on his head where his head kept rubbing back and forth in the birth canal! Till this day I still have some minor bladder problems. I’m too young for that – I was 25!

So I finally think I got over this traumatic birth. I made an appt with my OB to talk about what the plan would be if I were to get pregnant again. I wasn’t doing anything without a plan and assurance I would not have to deal with that again.

Thursday rolls around and I see my doctor, who I love (unfortunately he wasn't on call when I delivered). He tells me that he would like me to c-section, which I'm totally happy about. I'm not going to chance my bladder getting out of whack again. That's just awful. We had an awesome talk, and I get out of the appt ready to have another child. I covered all my bases too. WW will still let me go, but I can't weigh in – fine with me. Daycare gave me a quote for both kids. I'm finding out all this information and doing legwork.

This week I even was carrying one of the 4 month old babies at daycare. Joey was so good with her. He gave her hugs. I was all geeked.

I tell this to Joe. I'm all excited.

He then tells me he's not even sure he wants kids. I think he got freaked out. It became ‘real’ to him.

I swear I'm going to have a nervous breakdown.

I know he does not realize the intense emotions I went through to get over my birthing experience, meet with my doctor, thinking about all the could be's and then to be told this. I'm crushed, upset and back to where we were before.

Today at daycare Joey would not come home. Usually he runs up to me, and says bye bye and is ready to drag me out the door. Today he was playing with his friend Evan who’s only a month older than he is. He only comes twice a week. They kept running to the door, back to the living room, to the door, to the living room over and over. Evan’s mom came to pick him up and Joey still did not want to leave. I couldn’t believe it. I guess he had a good day at daycare today! Dena tells me Joey learned something today – to talk in a deep voice. He’s done this around us before but it must have been new to them. They say to Joey in a deep voice, “Joey, say Momma’ and just says in a deep throaty kid voice ‘momma’ as we all crack up. When I got there Dena’s son, Christian, was playing with Joey. He’s 7. They were running around, chasing each other, and just enjoying each other’s company. They are all so cute.

It’s so much fun watching your child play with the other kids! Joey gets along so well with all the kids, older and younger. He’s very charismatic. I’m not just saying this because he’s my kid. I’ve watched him play with other kids when he doesn’t know I’m there (I’ll sneak up on him at daycare) and he’s always the ringleader. You know in school there was always the kid that everyone wanted to be friends with or hang around? Joey is that kid. He’s very outgoing. He’s the kid that will see anyone, a teenager on the sidewalk, a person making sandwiches in the store, or the lady in the waiting room at the doctors office, and he says hi to them all and expects a hi in return. The kids love to play with him, and crowd around him. I’m actually a little surprised, he’s kinda pushy – like most 2 year olds are and I think he takes his size to his advantage. He’s much bigger than other 2 and 3 year olds. He’s 3 feet tall and not even 22 months old! I hope he keeps this outgoing, fun personality he has. I love it and it’s so good for him!

When we got home Joey went right to the toys that Melissa gave me yesterday. Melissa came and met me for lunch. It’s so nice to go out with my friends – I miss them so much! I took out the train set she gave us and put it together. I could not figure out how to get this train to move. Finally I figured out it has a remote control. I put batteries in that and the train and away the train went. Joey was in awe and so happy. He just watched the train circle him as he sat in the middle of the tracks. I tried to show him how to use the remote but he got quite impatient and wouldn’t do it. So I sat there just holding down the up button so the train would move forward.

So after all these emotions, tonight Joe comes home and says now he thinks he is ready for a child. Well he said he’s never ready but we are thinking long term and think it’s better to have children close together. There go those emotions again!

This was the conversation when Joe got home to Joey.

Joe said, ‘Joey, do you want a brother or sister?’ and without missing a beat, Joey looked at Joe, shook his head and said ‘No’. That’s it – just ‘no’. Joe and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. His response was so punctual right after the question!

So later I asked Joey – do you want a brother or a sister. He runs up to me and says sister, sister, sister, like I would magically produce one. He’s so cute!

After Joe came home and was upstairs, Joey dragged him into his room and to his Pepsi change jug. We’ve been showing Joey how to save money and give him change to put in it every day. Well he did not forget today. He took Joe by the hand and showed him the jug – like ‘Hey dad, where’s my money?’ Joe and I burst out laughing again. Smart kid – he already knows how to ask daddy for money for his jug every day! Hahaha.

Up to grandma’s house for the weekend again. I need to get a few scrapbook pages done. I’m hoping to cook this weekend and see if I can get some dinner’s ready for the rest of the week. I’ve never done the prepare and freeze thing, but I’m going to give it a try. It would be nice to be able to have a home cooked meal in the evenings again!

Oh and you can see Joey's much shorter hair in the photo above!

I'm not a big fan of cold, but the ONE thing I love about cooler weather is I just love soaking in our (small) bathtub. There is nothing better than filling up the tub and soaking for a bit and getting nice and toasty.

Today was my day off. Yay! Joey woke at 6am. I though, OMG he will not go back to sleep. I rocked him and tried to get him to go to bed and nope, he started to cry. I said, Joey, you are going to go to bed in mommy's bed. I took him there, he rolled up and went right to bed. I was like OMG. I have never done that before. In the past if I tried that he would think it was a fun place to play. This time he just conked out. I guess he just wanted me there. We slept until quarter to 9!

Then we got up. I got him breakfast. Then we changed. We got ready to go out. He got a haircut today and it's sooo cute. They pretty much buzzed his hair. It was sooo cute. Then I took him to daycare. He was NOT happy with me. I had to do some errands. I went to Salvation Army to drop off a few things and got Joey some clothes and books. Then I went to get our ink cartridges refilled. I got a new Perry Ellis Wool Long coat from the resale shop. I paid a lot for it - $68 but I figure it's a lot cheaper than brand new and I needed a new coat. Then I dropped off the dry cleaning. I called daycare, he already went down for a nap so I went home and napped. I picked him up about 3. We've been home playing all afternoon.

We went out back today and I got these photos. I cleaned up the back patio. I got everything ready for storage. Our patio looks so much better now without all the stuff out there.

Went to curves today for the weekly weigh in and I gained 2.5. I think I need a kick in the ass. Joe and I are arguing about the overtime he's putting in and we can't seem to reach an agreement. It just sucks for me because he gets home after 7 every night. Today he went in an hour early and only left 10 minutes early and because of bad traffic was still home later than normal. I don't know what type of agreement we are going to come to. The only logical solution is to move closer to work but I HATE the city and do not want to move closer to Detroit. I have no clue...

I know I should be posting more. I think I'm feeling guilty for not getting my cruise pages on here quicker so I'm not updating at all. What a dork I am! Well the cruise day 4 is going to be a BIG blog. That is one of our excursions and I have a lot of photos. I need to get my duff in gear and get it listed!

Last week on Saturday the 15th I worked 5am until 10:30 pm putting in a new system for work.
Sunday I worked a bit more verifying the system.
Monday I worked 8am - 11:30 pm. You tired yet. Yeah, I was too.
I worked a part day on Tuesday, then Joey was up and only slept about 3 hours on Wednesday night so I stayed home with him and called in Thursday. Friday it was back to work.

This weekend we went up north to see the grandparents again. Saturday evening Joe's dad and his family had a Halloween party. I found out something - Joey's costume is way too small. Pisses me off actually. It says fits a 2-4 year old. Joey is NOT EVEN 2! He's 21 months. Ok ok, I know he's like really tall but come on!!! So anyway, here are some photos of him. He makes a very very good lion! OH and DO NOT TELL ME my son looks like Teen Wolf with his costume and coat on. If you have not seen that 80's movie, you will have no clue what I'm talking about but he does really resemble Teen Wolf (Michael J Fox). hahaha.

That evening after we ate we went on a hayride. There were a lot of us. Joe's dad manned the tractor. Uncle Jeff jumped off the tractor quite a few times trying to scare the kids. His youngest, Jessie, thought that he had fallen off and we left him so she started to cry. Then she finally figured out he did it on purpose. Joey had a big hat on him and we wrapped him in a blanket, and he had on a coat so he was very warm, even though it was probably about 45 or so outside. It was a fun time. We'll have to make that a tradition.

Saturday night I scrapbooked. I got two pages done. One page on our Memorial Day party at the Dziekan side (my side) from this year and one on our house closing from 2002. I also did a card. It's nice to get back into scrapbooking but I still feel like my pages are outdated. I hate that feeling!

I'm getting a little worried. I need to get on the scale tonight. I have no clue but I think I gained some weight. I've been a bit careless with the eating since we got back from the cruise and it's bad. I did subscribe to the body clutter menu mailer (www.savingdinner.com) and I'm excited to start that. I love the menu-mailer. Leann's recipes are soooo good. Joe loves them too. Maybe having a meal plan everyday may be a good thing.

That's about all. I get to stay home tomorrow - yay! I have a bunch of errands to run so I'm excited about that - mostly because it involves SHOPPING! I'm going resale shopping again. I think I'm addicted!

Oh and no fall photos yet this year. The fall leaves have been pretty drab!